An open journal ... really

So this blog has changed course, speed and meaning. So be it. To change is to create essential meaning. I started here with no design of what this would become, only to express myself ... ME ... and initially my free thoughts about Reiki (healing).

This blog took a shape of its own as my fingers hit the keyboard. The thoughts of love (healing) ... and man, that has bounced around in my head and on these pages. The unconditional love of Reiki (healing). The love we should have for one another (healing). The love of self (healing). The love discovered during death (healing). The love of music (healing). Crow Medicine (healing). A love lost (or the hint of it) (healing) . A love found (a small hint of it and I hope) (healing). The love of learning is covered (healing).

Ah, here is a future subject ... the love of learning but learning can be a love/hate thing until you've learned your lessons well ... and I have not gone there (healing) ... to hate ... (not even a hint of it). Maybe close tonight but as close as I will get (healing). Maybe I haven't learned my lessons well yet?

So this blog is about what I started it about ... Reiki, converted to healing ... LOVE ... and a little more (healing).

This blog is an "open" journal, left on a table tucked inside a computer screen. You can sneak a peek or sit with it wide open. Relate to it or not. Many don't read it at all and they move on about their days just fine.

BUT ... this is my blog.

Tonight's blog entry is about another persons point of view ... from viewing my blog.

Another persons point of view does not change what I have written, its perceptions or any of my personal insights shared in a past moment. My perceptions and personal insight do change as I grow. Another persons point of view does nothing to the past written entries. They are locked in this website on the Internet. I can "EDIT" them but I would choose not to.

As I move forward in this "open" journal I will change and grow and see what is and what isn't ... and that will be a new moment. I will post these changes as they are relevant or pertinent. To change is to create essential meaning.

I consider this criticism of my blog and I say, this is my "open" journal and if you don't like it don't read it. I ponder the name of my blog. "Always seek the highest good". What is "the" highest good here tonight? For this is not called "your" highest good or "my" highest good. My choice would be that it is the highest good in the middle.

I don't know.

The highest good, or that place in the middle can get lost the moment you let it.

The highest good comes to mind and it is love. The sweet emotion that brings us to surrender. Not the surrender that leaves us powerless. The surrender of outcome. Can you surrender outcome? I will wonder if I can as I move forward towards that place.

Do I publish this? It shows my frailties.

The Nature of Balance

Commit yourself to something so that something can commit itself to you.

a simple pleasure ...

the local garden center ... 3 rows of large fountains ... all of them working ... all running water ... 30 - 45 fountains ... working all at once ... I stand in the middle ... of all of them ... I close my eyes ... I take in several deep breaths ... I listen to the sound ... of all of the fountains ... the constant water flowing ... like they are one giant fountain .... and I go away for awhile ... find your simple pleasure and partake of it every now and then ...

Go ahead and jump ...

My morning moved quickly and time offered no favors. I wanted to gather in a quick lesson or at least a small shift in my perspective before heading to work. I decided to read from a book that I recently received by fluke.

I had placed an order on Amazon for a different book. I placed the order, a book seller had it. Amazon took my money. The book shipped. Then a process started ... book - no book - order another - no book - order another - we don’t have it - we'll refund your money - order another book and on and on. I was receiving emails from two different people from the same company and I was the one trying to get them on the same page over the same book (transaction).

I finally found "The Osho Zen Tarot Book and Card Deck" set listed by this seller. I had just become aware of this set a few days prior. They had it “used” at about half the cost of new. I ordered it. I received an email that this had been shipped. An email followed stating they didn’t have this set and they would refund my money. Amazon let me know that they refunded my money.

The next day a package arrived in my mail. It was the book half only of The Osho Zen Tarot set. I initially wondered what I would do with the book and no cards. It turns out the book is the better half of the set. Cards with no book would be mysterious. The book with no cards is insightful. I read the introduction and the story of how this book and deck of cards came to be. It was a good read.

((((( .......... I opened circle last night before sleeping. I called in Grandmother and Grandfather and thanked them for many things but especially for expanding my territory. I asked them to hold me in the night and to whisper in my ears.

My dreams were powerful. I traveled and visited new people in new places. I learned great things. I woke to gentle nudges between the dreams so that I could remember them. It was one of the sweetest night’s dreams I have ever had.

This morning my thoughts were about these dreams and the woman I sat in circle with and the man that came my way with the very direct smile and great face. I thought of how real and present these visitors were and how they were of this time … not yesterday or tomorrow but today. I thought of how remarkable my dreams were and how courageous I have been lately to ask for and received such vivid dreams.

I thought about how moving forward in faith and trust has really opened many new possibilities for me. Possibilities like the ones I witnessed in my dreams. I was thinking of the quantum effects that I am seeing work in my life. I realized that at some point I just jumped into a more positive potential and here I am dreaming it and living it ............. )))))

I grabbed the Osho Zen Tarot Book and slipped my finger into a random page. I wondered what the page would read before I opened the book ... Page 61 … "TRUST" … with the picture of a woman leaping into the air, free flight … no net … wide open arms.

The page said:

“Don’t waste your life for that which is going to be taken away. Trust life. If you trust, only then can you drop your knowledge, only then can you put your mind aside. And with trust, something immense opens up. Then life, this life is no longer an ordinary life, it becomes full of God, overflowing. When the heart is innocent and the walls have disappeared, you are bridged with infinity. And you are not deceived; there is nothing that can be taken away from you. That which can be taken away from you is not worth keeping, and that which cannot be taken away from you, why should on be afraid of its being taken away? – it cannot be taken away, there is no possibility. You cannot lose your real treasure.

Now is the time to be a bungee jumper without the cord? And it is the quality of absolute trust, with no reservations or secret safety nets. There is a tremendous sense of exhilaration if we can take the jump and move into the unknown, even if the idea scares us to death. And when we take trust to the level of the quantum leap, we don’t make any elaborate plans or preparation. We don’t say “Okay, I trust that I know what to do now, and I’ll settle my things and pack my suitcase and take it with me”. No, we just jump, with hardly a thought for what happens next. The leap is the thing, and the thrill of it as we free-fall through the empty sky. Here’s the hint … what waits for us at the other end - a soft, welcoming, cushion of yummy pink, rose petals … c’mon”.

Go ahead and jump!

Chain saws and jack hammers ...

It had been a full week ... the global condition that WE ARE IN. Remaining close to Spirit, staying the course even when I get frustrated. Clearly disappointed by some people that I have cared for. Trying to find equanimity with myself … will I find it? Flirtation … is cleansing and sweet like the smoke of Palo Santo.

I woke up early to a calm and foggy day. I started my morning preparing to sit in meditation. Who can afford gas these days and I am "a lucky one" as my daily commute is under 6 miles both ways. Start riding my bike. Happiness is maintainable. "The only things worth living for are innocence and magic ... AMEN". How can this current administration be so pompous? Will there be improvement in the next administration. GOD I HOPE McCain fails. My Son is growing and going. Karma … comes and goes but it usually hangs around until you deal with it.

I fed the dog and the cat and headed outside to access what kind of watering I needed to do in the garden. Lodge is coming up on Wednesday ... the full Moon. There are some weird folks out there. I have no room for negativity. Oh please. Past friends and lovers. Q’ero. Restlessness is to enthusiasm what espresso is to coffee.

The fog was thick enough I could not see the house across the street, making my meditation area in front of two large windows very surreal. I started expanding my breaths, lit my candle and started some Palo Santo burning. Stop making excuses Mom. Stop thinking a 79 year old woman will change Laurel. The Rites. Undoubtedly you must continue to do what you believe in. Vishudda … speak your truth (and then face those spoken words). What else would you speak? Why do people lie?

This meditation was about turning this week over, ending my chatter about it and releasing its energy to the sky. Just about ready … my breathing was already soft and full. I opened circle and called in the power and magic that I believe in. I centered myself on my meditation pillow and started my prayer …. oh that sweet prayer that always centers me.

ZZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzz!!!! My next door neighbor was not trying to meditating. My next door neighbor was trying to remove ivy with a chain saw, starting the very moment that my prayer centered me. ZZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzz !!!! I tried to remind myself that silence and peace were inside of me not outside of me. ZZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzz!!!! I tried to focus my breathing on the still points in between each breath and I thought this was not going to work.

ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZZ zzzz ZZZZZ zzzz !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The ZZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzz finally stopped and I took some breaths. The chain saw was replaced with a jack hammer at this point. I decided to accept the humor as this is part of life. I closed my prayer circle and got up. Sometimes you aim at the good (a meditation) and you don't get it (a chainsaw).

amen ...

"The only things worth living for are innocence and magic ... amen. We were born with our eyes wide open. So alive with wild hope now. Can you tell me why time after time they drag you down. Down in the darkness deep. Fools and their madness all around. Know that the light don't sleep".

These are lyrics from a song. Yep, another CD rolling its lines out while I skoot around town. I think diversity can be added to the this small list but I didn't write the song. David Gray wrote it.

Innocence? Webster says it is a noun.
1. The quality of innocent naivete.
2. The state of being free from sin or moral wrong; lacking a knowledge of evil.
3. A state or condition of being innocent of a specific crime or offense; "the trial established his innocence".

I am not innocent.

Magic? Webster gives us its adjective meaning and it meaning as a noun.

Adjective

1. Possessing or using or characteristic of or appropriate to supernatural powers; "charming incantations"; "magic signs that protect against adverse influence"; "a magical spell"; "'tis now the very witching time of night"- Shakespeare; "wizard wands"; "wizardly powers".
Noun
1. Any art that invokes supernatural powers.
2. An illusory feat; considered magical by naive observers.

I am not magic.

But innocence and magic exist and I watch for them.

So many things ...

There are so many things to be grateful for. If you stand silent and still for just a moment and let the world pass by you as it will ... the beginning of the list comes in for you. Sometimes the list starts high at the clouds. Sometimes the list starts low at the earth. Sometimes the list begins at eye level at the leaves on a tree. Sometimes you hear the list develope as a hummingbirds wings propel a hummingbird past you. Sometimes the list is written in your arms as you hold onto a loved one. Sometimes the list stands in front of you as someone dear to you smiles. Sometimes the list starts early in the day and doesn't stop until late at night.

There is always a list to compile.

Listen ...

There really is a sound to silence and such important things can be sensed when no noise is being made.

As well ... when silence is broken you should listen to and sense the sound.

When someone speaks we should try to press into and pull from what they are saying. When someone speaks ... as opposed to when someone talks ... there is a difference and usually if you are paying attention you notice the shift in your own awareness as you get a little nudge from your better judgment self saying ... "LISTEN".

There as so many quotes, phrases and proverbs about listening. I don't need to list them. We should all have at least one favorite quote on listening and we should live by it as often as possible. One of my favorites is from the corporate America guru, Stephan Covey. To paraphrase he says "seek first to understand, then to be understood". This one takes listening to the point of feeling what you are hearing.

The senses have always been listed as if they fall under one category yet if we look at their range ... to see, to taste, to smell, to touch (feel), and this subject is to hear ... shouldn't we do them all at the same time ... consciously. After all, we can so we should.

with wide wings ...

Crow flew in this evening to drink from the large cobalt blue water bowl in my yard. His timing was impeccable (for me) as I had just stepped to the window to breath in some cool, fresh air. I was thinking hard thoughts about the human to human betrayal that we find on the path to Spirit ... on the path TO Spirit not on the path OF Spirit.

Crow was beautiful with his shining black wings, darker than black and his strong profile. He was full of grace as he spiraled his wide wing span into the small area where the bowl sits. He landed on the edge of the bowl with precision placement. He then wrapped his wings around his body and he lengthened his spine and stretched his tail feathers like a conductor gaining the composure of an orchestra.

Crow leaned down into the bowl and drank a few long draws of water and then rested at the edge of the bowl. Crow leaned down into the bowl again and drank more water before resting a bit more. All at once without any effort he rose out of the small area at the bowl and into the sky. I was honored to have been at the window at this time.

I went back to my thoughts of betrayal and wondered if Crow had interrupted my thoughts for a reason. I often think animals interrupt our thoughts for a reason so I went in a different direction into my mind, away from betrayal and into what I was to learn from Crow's visit.

Crow medicine is LAW and sacred law at that. Crow medicine teaches us to pause and witness how we see things in relation to a higher order of right and wrong. With Crow medicine you honor a higher sense of harmony and therefore you are more sensitive to the lack of harmony. You easily recognize when things are out of balance or unjust.

Human law is not sacred law, leaving way to betrayal even on the path TO Spirit. We are eager to move forward on Spirit's path and our human condition gets in the way, our own way many times and the way of others. It is not always betrayal but it is usually a lack of full site and often a lack of insight.

Crow is a master at shape shifting and being in two places at once. Doubling or being two places at once is the gift of Crow medicine. Prior to Crow's visit I was in two places at once. The place where I thought a betrayal was and the place that I was standing at the window watching Crow. Crow slowed me down to take this time to realize that I am not betrayed. I was informed by Crow that others who have shared my path for a step or two ... at times ... lack full site and ... at times ... lack insight too.

Didn't I lack full site and insight (about betrayal) ... before Crow's visit?

Correction ...

Crystals ... in my 'shot from a cannon' posting I said I have crystals all over my garden. I have crystals everywhere. They are all over my home, in windows, on toilets tanks, in my rock collection .... yeap, one of those folks who collects rocks here. I collect crystals too. Got any extra crystals? I will take them.