Spending time with her ....

We had very strong thunder and lightning in the early morning hours, our rare August/September thunder showers. Being one who is "charged" by thunder and lightning I often wonder if I am in the wrong part of the country, to only take in a good thunderstorm once or twice a year. I often wonder if I would be sane (in mainstream terms) if I experienced more than a few thunderstorms a year.

The storm woke each of my family members from sweet sleep and my son and I snuggled together on the sofa in front of our large windows. Our dog and cat were within arms reach. Our dog (?) softly howled and gently growled every once and awhile like she was talking back to the storm. It was one of the finer moments for me.

Our home is high up in the hills overlooking the east end of our city with a wide open view of the valley that stretches to the ocean about 15 miles away. We watched huge bolts of lightning crack down on the plains as the storm headed our way.

For an hour or more the storm spread its energy over the land. Lightning bolting down to the earth and the thunder blasted like large tribal drums ... tossing raindrops straight down out of the sky . I had gardened in the Moon light last night and I was so grateful that the rain was helping to settle some new planting into the earth and clean all the green around me.

I was doing a lot of thinking as my son had fallen asleep in my arms. I thought of
ingenious passion and creating the "perfect storm" of smart love.

I thought of my "never ending, never beginning" with my beloved warrior (peaceful)/medicine man. He has once again gone where I had wanted him to go. The day before had been full of thoughts of him, having spent the day in and around his former community. My moonlight gardening was to ground my energy from missing him, always missing him. As I gardened, the storm sky from the storm coming in at sunset was painted with his colors. Maybe it has finally ended.

As I sat on the sofa I remembered my last long road trip and the storms across Texas and New Mexico. I remembered the storms in Colorado that would come in every summer afternoon, like God had turned on the sprinklers for us to play in. I remembered the storms on the plains at my fathers home in Nebraska. My affinity for storms runs deep.

I remembered Gayle. Not that she is ever forgotten. I had planned on dedicating time to Gayle today as it is the one year mark of her passing. I was planning a trip to the ocean or the hills or perhaps visiting her former home. Something symbolic and devoted to Gayle and her remaining essence.

Gayle and I shared an amazing understanding of the August/September rains and in that a shared "affinity" for thunderstorms. This would be a very lengthy detail that would forge deeply into my heart and into stories of Gayle's challenges around Jamie's (September) birthday parties and my second fight (and victory) with cancer (September ... years ago) and it is ok as is.

Gayle was my greatest catalyst in 7 years as a Reiki Master and practitioner. She moved me from being a reluctant healer to being a determined teacher. Gayle reminded me (after she passed) of who I am. I am more than a reluctant healer, more than a Reiki Master ... I am a Medicine Woman. I just am. No fight (with myself) about it. I have lived this past year mobilized by her amazing belief in me and by her profound willingness to teach me on such a deep level ... ... ... ... ... ...

The storm was a visit from Gayle, Gayle's essence as it is. She was always early, organized and ready .. she had perfect timing and knew just what to do. She most likely has a very busy day today ... her essence that is, has a very busy day today. So she came to me, early ... timely ... perfectly ... through the storm, when she knew I would be available.

I love you Gayle. I thank you Gayle. I will forever honor you Gayle.

To this day I wonder ... what did I give her in comparison as she has given me so very much.

See ... Reiki Lessons" ... posted here on blogspot.