Of all of the things that I have experienced over these 7 years the turning point ... from just a person that does Reiki to a person that wants to offer a catalyst for others is as follows ...
I met an amazing woman while volunteering at a local hospital in the cancer center. I was running Reiki on cancer patients and their care givers. The majority of the people I shared Reiki with were women (close to my age) diagnosed with and hoping to survive breast cancer.
Prior to my volunteer work I had been in a self propelled, candy coated practice of Reiki. I was soothing friends who had quarrels with lovers, melting people of everyday stress and thinking I was doing great things. My ego was attached to outcome and it was really attached to the title of "healer".
Having survived cancer myself I had this notion that I could give back to the cancer community a little thank you from me for having lived. I learned a lot from the women at the center and especially from the woman who became my friend. To date I have not given back more than I have received.
Early on, my third patient was the woman that I became friends with. She had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and she had never experience Reiki. She was honestly one of the most frightened people I had ever met. Working with this stranger with this intense fear was a wide threshold for me. She was rigid with anxiety, I was way out of my experience level. She was mellow and resilient when we finished. I was grateful that Reiki happened.
She became a Reiki junky. She scheduled in advance to meet with me and over six months I saw that she was really one of the most couragous people I had ever met. I was honored that she was my friend.
The combined influences of the energy of cancer, my gratitude for my own survival, the fear of many of the women I saw and the healing of some of the women I saw was amazing to witness. I was humbled by the experience and the exposure. My ego was reduced.
My friend "survived" breast cancer as she swore that she would.
Around the time she was scheduling her first hair cut (her hair had grown back in) she confided in me that she was frightened again due to some things that were "just not right" with her head. She was soon diagnosed with brain cancer. The brain cancer grew rapidly and agressively. It all went so fast that there was no time to really think about it.
She asked that I support her with Reiki and I did. Through supporting her I learned even more. I learned some profound lessons about detachment from outcome and results. I became detached from my desire for her to live. I learned about detachment of ego. There was nothing great about such good lessons as I was learning them while my friend was passing,
I had already reached a place where I knew that we are only healers when we heal ourselves. We can best support others in their desire to heal when we step aside. As my friend was passing I learned that sometimes healing is about your ability to heal at the point that we need to. She held onto her ability to heal during breast cancer. She was past her abilty to heal with brain cancer ... we were left facing that when it 's time to go it's time to go.
I learned deep lessons about unconditional love. I had conditions and so did all of her loved ones. None of our conditions mattered and we all loved her anyway and we all loved her more as the days continued. I learned from her family members after she passed that my loving support as a friend and as a Reiki practitioner really mattered.
My friend was a devoted Catholic. When she first came for Reiki it was at the advice of her Priest who told her it might help her relax. The very last thing that my friend said to me was "you need to know something, you need to know this ... I understand about karma now ... I finally understand about karma". I don't recall that my friend and I ever talked about karma for her to feel the need to tell me what she finally understood.
1 comment:
wow....
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